Tyler talks about putting your kids in competitive sports. Is it necessary? Do parents have their kids best interests in mind? What are the physical and mental repercussions of playing
competitive sports? Should there be physical contact in sports?
Tyler uses his experience playing high-level hockey and 13 years as a referee to discuss the benefits and negatives of playing sports and the consequences for young children.
Will you put your kids in competitive sports? Let me know!
Transcript (Unedited)
Hello everyone is taught or bride. I’m here today on July 60, 2018 were coming off a long weekend here in Canada at one I think world-wide set serious heat temperatures man, or people dying. We’ve got people in Montreal, Uncle back a 200 people die in the last week from dehydration from overheat and that’s a really scary thing.
No, that’s not what I’m talking about today. I don’t have too much to say about that, but a… it’s hot, I got this skin coming off my body still. I’m still trying to get rid of some of this red stuff. Hope you value. Had a great weekend. What I actually want to talk about today is something that I think is becoming more of a discussion and that is putting your kids in competitive sports. And just to provide a little bit of context around this, I just wanted to give a couple of stats. And this is looking at in North America, the United States, 75 percent of families have at least one child that participate in organized sports while in Canada, 764 of youth participate 76 percent of youth participate in an extra-correctly.
Or sport? Now the new one I want to make here today, is there is a big difference between organized sports, and then competitive sports, and I would say that there’s almost a level of over-looking at ultra-competitive. And so, to give you a little bit, I’m gonna look at the lens of hockey today ’cause that’s my experience. I played a lot of sports, but hockey was definitely the biggest route I took in competitive sports have a lot of friends who made it very far, some people that I played with who are high-level professional athletes, so I really… what I believe is a pretty good perspective of how hockey plays out but also sports in general. And to provide that nut before people attack me for her saying, “I don’t think you should put your kids in sports. And that’s not really what the argument, I’m gonna say but I do want to look at some of the benefits, but also the negatives, both through personal experience, but also statistically through research and what we’re seeing as we start to understand more about the science of sports and also, even psychology, or involved with it now or if you’re in any area by around Ontario in Canada, and probably the sort of same system reflect really worldwide is that there are multiple levels of competitiveness.
And so, in hockey, we have what we usually call a league called House Lee. This is where, this is where the players who are playing really at all competitively usually the low-skilled players, they end up sort of all the players who can’t make the higher leagues get thrown down into this house league level. A lot of times, especially in hockey this level doesn’t have any physical contact it’s much more about an extra activity to do after hockey. Or after school playing some fun with friends and maybe get in a little bit more competitive towards playoffs, and as the season wraps up, but that level intensity that level of competition thing amount of dedication and time it takes to actually do that is very low as we move up.
We’d say, sort of, there’s a mid-tier mid-tier level, so there’s house trying to think of what this would actually be called. It’s sort of just mid-mid-tier. You’re not quite making it you’re not quite so that as that is the house let players… but you also can’t make the team. And then when we get into the at, that’s where we’re moving a little bit more on to the competitive side so that team is what I would say. So we got that house mid-tier and then the A-as where I find the average athletic person falls into often you’re pretty good hockey player, and you’re competitive, you’re dedicating some time to it, but it really doesn’t look like a serious career or anything that you’re gonna go down. Now, that’s a couple levels above this and this is where we start to get a much more into that. When I almost within LTER competitive leagues and so, there’s double S-S-A, which was that more average. Good athlete you’ve got a… which is better than that average athletic player but can’t quite make that top tier, is that mid-range. And these players are very, very competitive. Tata side note.
I referee hockey, I refereed hockey for… I think this is coming up on my 13th year, and I’m gonna talk about that a little bit, but in this double A league, it’s a really weird zone to be in because you’re above the sort of average athlete and competitiveness and dedication, but you also can’t quite make it into that final level. And so, I find a lot of violence and aggression and resentment in this lead, because a lot of times it’s people who aren’t gonna make it, make it into these professional leagues or continue on and have a resounding success, in a career, and so I find a lot of actual violence and aggression and problems within that. They’re above that average, fine second, but they’re not quite at that top tier. So when we look at that top tier, in this area, at least that was called “Tripathi both the highest you can go when you are a kid, there’s no level that you can play at higher than that until… until you about 14 years old, 15 years old, and you have looking at basically semi-professional leagues, like I don’t even know if they’re considered semi-professional, professional means like the… Oh, and even obviously down into college down into an all these kind of options that spread out, as you get a little bit older, but that initial level of that Tia is really where those top tier athletes and up the players who are really, really strong hockey players in EMEA.
That’s where I play hockey played. I started out in a until I was about to, I say, eight, nine, eight, nine, 00, and I should maybe know, this even a little bit more specifically. And then I moved into trip. Now, when you get into true you were almost on well you’re supposed to almost be on a crash course to playing professional hockey. And that’s at least what I sold to you. What is highlighted? And there is a lot of time and dedication into this, and one thing that I think we talk about it often… is this idea of telling kids that they’re special, and I find that all the leagues have that, but when you’re at that Triple A level, and even that double a level and your parents really try to hit you up, they’re really… I think it’s not out of obeying a bad person. I think it’s night being naive and being excited and having this belief, as well too, that you’re gonna somehow make it into being a professional athlete, that’s a lot of pressure in there’s a lot of dedication when you’re playing it in that kind of level and this and this, when I’m talking about competitive sports, this is what I’m talking about this ultra I’m almost not even classifying it. It rethought does a different level of commitment of intensity of pressure and drive needed to be in that. And so, that’s where I’m sort of aiming along this scale today, so please forget the lower levels. I believe that almost anyone can benefit and benefit from that from getting exercise. And these are the places I wanna pull this out. I’m not going on a negative here on sports a day. I did want to put some reasons why kids should play hockey. Social skills, and I fully believe in all these as a person. He played a lot of hockey in my life and a lot of sports in general, I believe in all of these 100 percent. So I just want to highlight a couple of the good things. Little playing sports. And so, obviously the one they have here, social skills, you’re constantly dealing with other players team members coaches, other team referees often having to dress up all these things that come with a team dinners, team lunches, hotels a ton of interaction with other people, which is fantastic. I made some of my best friends playing some of the best experiences out of my life, actually, came from just going down to tournaments, playing many sticks in the hallways and all this fun stuff that… I think that even if something about a mini take that for granted, how crucial that was and how much fun that was as a kid. Now I go to the next thing. Team work, obvious you’re playing on a team, especially especially hockey especially if you’re playing football, soccer, a lot of these sports and especially at a competitive level, that team work is very, very important to actually be successful and as an important skill set when you come out. And one thing that seems to happen at least is that athletes who come out of me out of competitive sports competitive hockey, they have an entry point into into companies and into corporate life because they have experience working with teams in any one who can work with teams, it’s easier to employ them there and just down the road in the wrote their life, they’re gonna have more success working with other people, physically fit, obviously, to work to play these competitive sports. And just for some context of what that looks like for playing Triple way around here. And we were… at one point one of the top rank teams in canoe were put Hakeem and so it was a ton of dedication, but there would be and I just found an old article about at the other day actually had actually had a here, Chiefs team and I forget… one this was, but a record that season was 53-94 when the best teams in Canada, and we would play probably two games a week. We do have to have tournaments. We would have two to three practices a week, and we would also have dryland session, so we UAS have workouts on top of that.
No, no, shit that you’re gonna be physically fit, while I could eat anything during that time and I could just power through it when you’re playing sports, it doesn’t really matter. This is important thing. Chartbeat is rampant throughout obviously the estates even more, but in Canada, here, as well too. We are eating a ton of process foods, we’re not really doing a good job taking care of our bodies and sports is a really good way to actually do that.
Keeps kids busy. No question kept me very busy. And I think with that level of business as a child when you’re in a child, you don’t really understand what’s going on or what you’re doing in your life but keeping busy, does it keeps you out of trouble and it also moms, you more focused. I find that the reason a lot of athletes who are competitive athletes have a lot of success in school and I think some of that comes from being busy such a high level at such a young age, and having to learn how to prioritize time and just work hard and do it well and effectively and efficiently because of that time and dedication that you have. And just in general, one of the big benefits that people say often, especially in more like low income neighborhoods and just kids who are more likely to get in trouble, sports is a really good way to avoid getting into that trouble. And so we think that’s basketball, whether that’s football, whether that’s hockey whether that’s running, whatever that is soccer those sports give you something that you can love something that you can improve that and something that does keep you out of trouble. And that’s a very important thing in a world where we get in a lot of trouble. Man, competitiveness, competitiveness is important. I always, I like to look more at life as a collaboration and co-operation and… but there still needs to be some competitive is not, and it still needs to be a drive and a sports competitive sports, especially gives you that competitiveness it, it’s almost like almost like capitalism, prioritizes making a profit competitive sports, prioritizes winning and so that drive that ultra competitiveness always seems to come about. Now, a couple of the things, Friendships, taking instructions, and they had a little list here. better grades. Another big thing that I think comes with playing competitive sports, is that idea of just winning and losing, you’re not always gonna win… you’re not always gonna lose you need to be able to bounce back from adversity, and be able to take those with grace. And I believe when you learn those lessons at a young age, it helps you when you get later in life when things aren’t always so easy. And so another big pit part of that. And then lastly, just some commitment.
So I sort of talked about this, the dedication, the time it takes to do this, there is a massive commitment that goes into play. Competitive sports and there’s no doubt that that commitment again, especially later in life has some positive impact on how you’re operating. And just what I’ve seen a lot of the athletes that I’ve now work hard and have continued to work hard in their careers, post-career, so post-hockey post sports career, and so that’s sort of the benefit talk. I’m not gonna be just going on a negative rant here, but I did wanna touch on a couple of things that I have noticed, not just from playing sports and being that competitive athlete but also referring for at a high level at a competitive level. I actually played at that turbo level, and also linesman and referee at that level.
And then also just my discussions with friends. Many of them who are athletes competitive athletes many of them from hockey, but others from some other sports as well too. And so what I wanted to talk about here or where do I wanna start him?
Look, and I got some notes got some notes here, I, I even shut out. Shout out to every note. If you guys use it. One of my favorite applications at all the time, it’s not too many applications that are perfectly serviceable free. That I wanted to pay for it just because, I supported the company. So, shouted Evernote. If you ever see why my eyes just darting all over the screen, it’s because I’m trying to loka these notes and sometimes I have a couple of tags, pulled up and then then this side here, sorry, three screens, and I know you can’t see. So, why pointing this out? I can see myself on video over here a couple of tabs. And so, I’m doing my best to look at the camera, but Ann this is too much stimuli so I’m gonna refer to this. Not a lot of this stuff, I… this isn’t just me like going up information that I don’t know this is my life. And so I did want to talk about it. And so, the piece that I think a lot of people struggle with is the pressure and the intensity. What are the psychological effects of sports? And then, of course, what are the physical repercussions of sports as well, too? No, I’m talking from referring hockey. I go in with the mindset of… I’ve played a ton of hockey. I know how a game should flow, I know what a game looks like. I’ve obviously studied the rules and if anyone quizzes me in no specific rules right now, you’re gonna not get the right answer. But I’ve got that feel for the game, and my job, my role out there is to actually protect these kids when they were playing sports. And when you’re playing growing up, you’re at, you’re a young kid under under-developed brain.
Again, this is sort of the thing you don’t really truly understand why you’re out there. I noticed that, especially when I’m wrapping the lower leagues these kids have no idea why they’re playing hockey. And that was one thing that I really felt as well too.
I didn’t really have… and I don’t think a lot of people have a lot of kids have the choice of playing sports, it’s just something that was so natural especially for my generation, which I would say 80s as to two 00s and still this continues today but it was just, it was a no-brainer, it was what you were supposed to do and you know you started meet all your friends, and you Ron. But he gets out there just floating around. I have no idea why they’re out there, but they’re out there. And so my job is to protect these kids. Sometimes this is a very hard thing to do. Your kids with under develop brains, some of them, especially when I start getting up into the high school age when they’re going through puberty, and they’ve got a hold the hormones that they don’t know how to deal with some of these kids are reckless, they don’t know what they’re doing in terms of playing and a lot of times I like her physical contact and hockey, but there’s a big difference between physical contact to play the sport to try to accomplish the goal that needs to be accomplished and winning that game scoring a goal, whatever that is and actually trying to hurt someone. And I can see that separation, I can see when I step on the ice as a referee, I can watch and warm up and I can say this kid, this kid is gonna try to hurt someone today and so that’s my job as a referee to identify that kid. And when that comes in most times when you’ve… he hockey enough re-sports enough, you could feel that coming can feel in a gut the start of the game, and you can feel it as the energy ramps up in a game, and you can feel it as the kid is rushing towards someone with no regard for US Health. And I think we truly underestimate just don’t know the consequences of that, and we’re slowly starting to learn that and I’m glad we are putting more work into concussions to all this stuff, but there’s still so much that we don’t know and I don’t think the consequences are accurately shown to kids, they don’t know that if they hurt someone that might have life long damages or a lifelong damage for that kid, and we don’t understand those consequences.
And sadly, a lot of the parents, a lot of the people who are responsible for talking about this stuff, they don’t… so, it’s dangerous. I’ve suffered from multiple concussions in my career many at the very end of my career, after I came out of tripartite to the OHL. And this is part of the problem as well too, is this process you’re playing the way we’re 13-14-15 years old, there are, there are scouts from any cell hockey teams and OHL hockey teams, watching you, there grading you on everything you do, talking to your games, you’re looking up in the crowd and you see scout standing there, writing notes after you’ve come off the ice. The pressure is so intense. And I did next, just experience this myself, this is from numerous people, on my team, but people from all the leads that I plan on scouts there, tell your kid that the scouts there, and you need to play a good game that CA plays a bad game, that parent is dreaming that kid out. And that’s one of the big, big problems that I see here. A lot of families, a lot of parents, and especially fathers are trying to live their dreams through their childhood. And that might sound extreme, but I’m telling you that I see that, I see that every single time I step on the ice, I see it in the culture, I see it when I’m referring and hits, it’s horrible to actually have to print that. Has the print little signs on the ice to say, Remember guys, this is a game that’s not shown to the players that’s shown to the parents on the… not on the… is shown to the parents in the crowd, or who are leaning up against the ice screaming and hammering on the glass, trying to tell her kid to smart, not or play better. And it’s… man, it’s horrible, horrible thing to see. My my dad was not even my dad was not even near the level of what I’ve seen out there, not just when I was planning, but what I see now in “ruffing and still do as times where you didn’t put enough effort in made bad decisions, you take a penalty, gave the puck away and pen you are getting Reed out after the game. And I think part of this really does come from such an expensive cost to playing the sport and especially hockey. We would play 50 thousand or just a plain the league play, we’d have to pay for hotels, we’d have to play for meals, we’d have to pay for gas. And on top of just the cost in terms of financial worth at time cost in terms of time where many parents could relax, enjoy weekends with their kids now they’re rushing out playing in a hot ethernet, and they are bending playing five games six games in that weekend, back and forth to the rank getting meals, trying to dry try out equipment, trying to keep everyone happy trying to pump them up if they’re losing trying to… or the opposite that I’ve just dreaming at them to try to make them play better. The amount of pressure intensity that comes from almost every side for a young competitive athletes. It’s insane. You think you have obviously the players you have your team members on your own team, you’ve got the coaches and a lot of people, either positive or negative experience comes from those coaches and a lot of people have had traumatic negative experiences with those coaches, when they aren’t doing a good job or they are too focused on that ultimate goal of winning and not looking at why are the benefits of playing sports. And you’ve got the coaches, you’ve got your own parents, you’ve got scout and then you’re also putting the pressure on yourself. And I know that’s a big thing for a lot of people and for myself and this is a personal experience but I’m sure this is translated for other people. My family, my parents very rough marriage that ended up in divorce and… but one of those things that I’ve said this before, one of those things that brought us together, was coming to watch hockey, coming to my sister played hockey as well, but myself, played at that very high competitive level. Family would come to the game, they all sit in the crowd together they’d all talk after the game. It was a good game. I sort of goals. I got some assist. Everyone’s happy family goes home and we get to have a good night. That subconscious pressure on top of all those other pressures on top of just life pressures of trying to fit in trying to go to school and get good grades all this stuff. So, a man. And I think this is the question of what do we need to print on these kids is this, Is this necessary is this headed? One of the questions I always ask is, and again this is specifically… we don’t need any more hockey players in this world, but straight up, we don’t need any more professional athletes. I don’t need to see any more flares. We’ve got enough, if it’s just a meat market that people are shifting through over and over again, and there’s no real need from over. What we need is community leaders, we need developers, we need, we need people who are learning how to run businesses provide jobs, contribute to society. A lot of people who are playing sports, were dedicating so much time of their life to this, they’re not what are they doing, and all for a chance of… of white of making a professional athlete. I look at this and I don’t know if this is completely accurate, any more about, but one in 25000 chance if you’re a hockey player that you’re gonna step on the ice and the professional hockey in the NHL for one game one in two red 50000. and yet, when we’re growing up, almost every single kid playing Chile is told that they’re gonna make it to the NHL.
Where are those false expectations being pre-out? Why are they being put out? It’s almost like telling it’s telling your kid that, I am Santa Claus is real and help us. No kids, watching is. He is real. But you can’t have that life form, it’s just not right, it’s not appropriate and it causes a view of the world that’s not right. And for how many people who are really complaining right now about young kids of both millennials who have a world aren’t working hard enough? Or think they’re too special. A lot of this comes from these parents who, especially in the sports think that their kids everything and that they’re gonna make it.
And one of the things that I really see that really, really blows my mind is wealthy, affluent smart, intelligent parents, who are putting everything into this child’s hockey career sports career, a competitive sports career knowing that the success the happiness that they’ve had has come from building a career working in a business doing a good job and they’re going back and they’re trying to get the kids to focus, solely on that, knowing how important it is diversified. There’s now schools dedicated solely almost to providing enough education these kids but basically just showing them on the ice shoving them on the train, and grooming them to be professional athletes. The schools class. 25-500-00-000. on top of that, you’re looking at power skating camps and again all those other additional expenses that come with the sport. It’s fucking crazy seriously, I try not to swear it’s so insane. And one thing that I find is that the players who play competitive sports at such a young age, they often become disillusioned from those sports and burnt out and especially at the time that is most crucial for them to actually be performing. And so what I saw and just to go back to this or play, I think we had about 171 maybe 15 players on our team, I think we have 13 or 15 or 13 of 77 players drafted to the OHL which is the league right before the anal. Now myself, was included in that we, most of the people who came about who were so good at hockey, who almost were very, very close to getting along that path, at least as close as you can be from a general perspective. Or burnt out their tired and they actually don’t seem to… a lot of them don’t seem to like the sport that they played any more. And I think that’s one of the most frustrating annoying things that I see. I felt, I felt this way myself, at the end of my career. And I know a lot of people who dedicated their life to sports, and now they don’t want to play, they never wanna go back on the ice, before because they so feel so damaged and ruined from playing that sport it’s just such it’s such an odd thing. He players who played in that lower level who enjoyed it, who diversify what they’re doing, spent times with education spent time hanging out with friends doing all this stuff, they enjoy those sports later in life more than the people who dedicated everything to it. Got her got injured or disillusion because they were told the especial when we’re gonna make it and then did… and there’s a lot of players like that.
One of the reasons why I brought wanted to do this topic today ’cause I’ve actually I had at that time in my life, my career was over, I was playing junior B which is just under that O level where we got drafted to and it was a pretty good competitive hockey a lot of players who just didn’t seem to get the balances they needed in a career and ended up playing junior B, but some very, very good players and a lot of people who actually went down up and forth between Junior being the owl and several players out of that league. Of trend, and up playing professional hockey in the NHL, but there is a moment in your career and this is again specifically to hockey. But it does apply, that you basically have a choice. Are you gonna continue or are you gonna stop? And so in our hockey league that is about 201 years old, when you’re turning 01, and in that time, you can either go continue to play, but if you haven’t made at that point and you’re paying an Junior B hockey, you don’t really have too much to go. So I have… you don’t have many places to go. So I have some friends who go down to the ESL which is not even now sent professional, be on United stage where they go to Europe, and you can make some money playing that stuff but it’s a lot of fun path to be down. I have many friends who have gone and played that and after a couple of years, they return knowing that that’s not a sustainable thing, knowing that they’ve become a little bit more disillusion with the sport and now having to come back and basically figure out what they need to do and this is what really scares me, about sports and competitive sports, specifically, is that we… and athletes have built their identity, their whole life around playing that sport and so in that sport, in a lot of cases that it’s almost ripped away from you. That career ends a lot of these people, a lot of these players may struggle with their identity and what to do after. And that was, it was something I felt I remember, and I’ve said this before, again, when we won the championship on the very last hockey game that I ever played my lid, so in cup is the championship in the league. We had never won it before our team and the city had never won it before, so I felt it was a very special moment for us in a very lucky and fortunate to end my career in that way. But I remember skating on the ice… after winning that championship we won the championship. I contributed in that game, score goal and assist, and I remember everyone’s celebrating and looking around thinking, “What the fuck do I do now, I have no idea what to do, and this has happened with everyone, but that question, that question of identity let me into a very difficult time in my life. A depression that led into into drug use in in really two years of recovery more than that, more than that a lot from playing sports, not knowing my identity, not knowing who I was to be dedicating and wrapping and feeling like almost wasted so much my time playing a sport that really… besides those benefits that we talked about, and yes I made some money playing I got my expenses paid for, it didn’t feel like it did that much for me. And that’s something that a lot of people feel. I have a lot of friends who feel the same way and I think that we need to do a better job at setting those expectations for kids, letting them know that this isn’t the only path if you’re a young athlete that you need to dedicate time to education, you need to diversify your interest.
Or I’m very lucky that I enjoyed education that I wanted to learn that I had an outside drive and motivator to, to want to do something else, and I had a couple moments in my life where I maybe could… he prioritized hockey as sports over education, and friends and family and I went with that route, I went towards education, I wanted to learn because I always felt I always had this, this perception that this wasn’t it, I didn’t believe what they were telling me, I didn’t feel I didn’t quite feel I didn’t quite feel it. So we need to do a better job at that. We have to understand that when you get to those higher leagues when you’re playing in a professional often all it is a business on top of performing as a player, you need to… you need to eat well, you need to do business, you need to do press. You needed all of these pieces that come with being a professional athlete or now under media scrutiny, or getting paid millions and millions of dollars and a lot of pressure comes along with that, and then on top of that millions of dollars to do digital marketing in my normal life and when I am doing what I’m doing, I do Google ad where I just Google search I set up an ad someone searches for something clicks on that ad, I help someone find a solution driving to one of my client’s site, and then they make a purchase or they call that person.
There is a value in that something is valuable there is an outcome for the person looking for the solution there is an outcome for, of course, me who’s getting paid to offer this solution, and it’s an outcome for the client who is actually getting a leader of sale of that. When I am playing beer like “Beery hockey and I can stick handle a black rubber disk and so go bar down whatever grade.
What is the value of that, what is that skill set? Why did I print fifteen years into honing how to put a black disk, off a bar into the net? What is the contribution to society, what is the contribution to anything where it’s a necessary… there’s no value there. And I’m gonna take some heat for this. I love playing and when I get to hit that bar down, I go play pack on Wednesday nights in my score. We make a nice play back and forth with a couple of guys and we put a buck in that I’m pumped. But we look at this practically and objectively, what is it? It’s the same thing. Abrams amazing, incredible athlete, his job is a ball in a whole, over and over and over and over again.
The reason they have value, is ’cause the entertainment’s special, the spectacle that has been built around this competitive sports built around this professional sports, and if these sports, or this entertainment collapsed these, athletes would have a skill set that’s valuable and that is such a terrifying thing. It’s a scary thing to see. A lot of my friends struggle with it. I can lucky. I chose to when I was playing junior B, I also chose to go to university and learn some stuff there, and then I chose to go to college after that and learn some more practical skill sets in front and development and marketing. But a lot of my friends who played high-level sports and didn’t quite make it, and I have a couple of friends who not friends, but while they were friends at the time, but teammates, people I played against very closely who have made it and they’ve made their millions of dollars, they played their sports, but the other ones, they don’t know what to do with some of them. Or you’re going to be a car dealer, or you’re taking on part-time more or often going into sales and trying to leverage what you’ve learned from sports, but that’s a very, very difficult transition, and that’s a difficult transition even if you’re a professional athlete, a lot of people think that just because you’ve got 00 good years in the NHL, you’ve got 22 good years in basketball, the 20 years and a lot of these guys think is the NFL. It’s like four years average, same with the NBA, half of the guys you see in any cell aren’t there in five years. So imagine that, imagine working that hard.
You made maybe a couple of hundred thousand dollars playing professional sports, maybe a million dollars couple million dollars but effectively your career is over, you might be 28 years old. What do you do after that?
Yes, you can invest, you probably have enough money to thrive. And live but people don’t just thrive and live off money, they thrive off purpose they thrive off of doing something that matters and contributing to the world, and that’s a massive, massive struggle for a lot of athletes who are coming out of competitive sports. I think there’s only really two a couple other things that I wanted to touch on here and I had touched on it a little bit. Was this the injury side? And an injuries are so numerous with these sports in the big one, of course, that we’re talking about, this concussions and brain Dam.
And Jen, this one is close to my heart again. I’ve had a couple of concussions, and I feel it. I tried to, I’ve tried to put that off that I haven’t felt the impacts of concussions, but when I look, I wanna just feel my brain operating day to day right now. There is a difference of how it used to fell it used to feel clean, like it was running smoothly all the time. And there’s a lot of other contributing factors to this, but I know deep down that there is some contribution from these concussions some that went diagnosed that I ended up in the hospital for many that went undiagnosed and that’s obviously what we seen a recurring theme over and over again and now. And I got a concussion. One of the biggest things that, again, I think we need to implement at least if you’re playing e-sports is baseline getting a baseline test for your brain operation. When I got my first real traumatic brain injury, my concussion, I went and did test for for my reflexes, for my perception, I went from being a smart, athletic, articulate person to being in the first second, third percent. Ali couldn’t even click on the things on the screen, I couldn’t add numbers, I couldn’t do anything. And until you have that moment where you’re sitting there on the computer trying to do this test and not being able to do that, you don’t, you don’t understand how scary that is. I had a concussion from a guy who, again, that wasn’t a hit just to play again, that wasn’t a hit. You know to accomplish the goal that need to be on.
That was a hit. I heard someone I was a hit to cause damage to someone, and that’s what happened. I’m gonna be impacted from the rest of my life from those hits from that concussion. There are direct correlation to that to all these times. Many people, I’m sure, who are playing sports right now. We’ve seen this already, CTE we’ve seen the damage that this can cause early from the repercussions, but also later in life, I’m scared every day but I’m gonna head towards all the times. You ask my girlfriend you ask… you ask people who are close to me that I have some serious brain farts sometimes man, it’s crazy. I did a podcast an hour-and-a-half the other day and there were times where I was just not zoned in as much as it was in, and I’m completely losing my train of thought and I’ve seen this before, I’ve seen it over and over again. This I’m having a conversation when you’re sort of having that conversation has obviously is in to see this very smooth flow and then so to have this word bubble that’s forming, as you go to continue that sentence and finish that thought there are times where I can physically and mentally feel that thought be basically popping dispersing and I’m not able to finish this thought that might sound crazy but I’ve had discussions with other people, fighters great discussion the other day with one of my good friends who’s a might ER hockey, football, they’ve experienced that same thing, these are not as much as weird as they sound, these are not abnormal things, and a lot of that can be attributed to concussions and also not the right treatment of that concussions. No one told me about the repercussions at that time. They said, You know, be careful I get some sleep, whatever, you don’t understand the consequences that I got concussions buddies were all partying and doing whatever. Not understanding truly underestimating the damage that it can do, and so that’s something that we really need to be careful about with seeing in football, of course, hockey is the same thing that some of these hits I’ve seen the way these kids have gone down, it breaks my heart to see, knowing that that kid might have just changed their entire life because of that concussion that might leave down to nor the gentry of diseases. Like everybody who I played with talking to him a couple of weeks ago, he had multiple concussions in his career and now he can just bump his head he bumped his head off the stair case a couple of weeks ago and he got a concussion. How scary is that?
If he gets another composite friends who were told that if they had one more concussion their career won the hundred percent be over and they’d be lucky if they are basically not a vegetable. At that time, there were people who are playing professional sports. Right now we’re in that same category. Sidney Crosby in that same category, I’m sure they have all the medical treatment in the world. It doesn’t matter, it could be another hit of the head and he could be God damn walk in the Lego man man.
So that’s a really, really scary thing. I think it’s something we need to get in to control. Another controversial opinion that I’ve had from the scene referring and we’re already starting to see it hitting is being phased out in competitive hockey and lower hockey. It’s basically already says, “Oh it’s already getting phased out. A competitive hockey as well too, so triple if you’re in plan to play down in Toronto right now, that’s the only place that you’re really doing hitting any league below that triple A league. I don’t believe there’s any hitting, right now. And so a lot of people look at the core of what hockey is they want the hitting, they want the violence they want the fight but when we look at how we should be treating people treating human beings how they deserve to live their legs, especially after the sports, we have to… question Is that truly necessary for my experience, I really don’t think it is.
I think we can phase out fighting. I think we can phase out hitting. I think the game will still be exciting. I think we’ll be looking at skill. We’ll be looking at guys with backhand toys, toys, a level of finesse that is admirable. And I, just as exciting as the violence and fighting we’ve started to see the suicides that have come out of players who have fought. We’ve seen people who we thought were excited to be fighting where our favorite brewers growing up… coming out now and saying that the effects that they’ve had on their lives, and their families is not worth what it is. And as all this comes forward as we continue to move this forward something that we seriously need to think about now I don’t have too much more. I ran for three minutes of ranting about putting your kids and competitive sports, you do. I can feel like I’m sound fired up and angry. And this one… so don’t think that but I’m very passionate about this and me from most personal experience and just referring all this stuff, it’s really opened my eyes to see it, and it’s just something that, if you’re a parent and you’re putting your kid in sports, you have to ask yourself these questions, is your serious questions. If they’re good, they’re good enough, they’re an amazing player.
Yes, they’re mostly ether gonna progress. Someone’s gonna ask them to play to play, but what is that pressure that you need to put on them? What are your expectations? Are you trying to live your dreams, through them? These are serious questions that you need to ask and… and especially in hockey, which is male-dominated, white a lot of times, sports in general, can be very poison this culture that can be built and you really want to insert your kids into that when you’re playing a high level that you are playing as hard as you are parting and just on top of that, just the aggression and the buying and the violence comes from being young kids going through puberty and trying to compete the same team members on your team and trying to make it on to the first line and trying to be the first draft pick and all the stuff, man. It can create a really, really poisonous culture, something that we have to be careful for. And this, again, this is a personal piece for me, but when I was growing up, in, I knew that I liked other genders, I knew that I wasn’t just interested in girls I knew that from about 12 years old, but if I had said that I thought if I had brought that up and brought that into the public while I was still playing clock yet a competitive level before I had got drafted for I got you after to go after the one. Especially in this time I would have been one of them. I bet I went on to play ten the… one of, to me, I wouldn’t have got drafted no team was gonna draft and openly gave player into the oil or draft the team, the NHL, because of the problems that would have come with it. And a lot of the identity problems I had the trauma that came from my life came from hiding that covering that up and it’s just something that I don’t wanna see. Another kid female-male French gender, it doesn’t matter, they don’t deserve to go through that. I just wonder how many kids have suffered with their identity suffered with bullying suffered with self-esteem issues, psychological issues, because of the high level of competitive sports that they’re playing at.
So it’s a very negative note and… but I really wanted to get this out and have this discussion. I’m hoping that there’s someone out there listening to this, and thank you if you are let me know what you think.
’cause this one, this one is a big top of that I’m interested in, I’m still I’m turning 26 a year, I do at least hope to I’m back and forth ’cause I’m looking at good kids and bad kids if I want them. But at some point, at some point, I believe I will. And I wanna know as parents or just people from the outside looking at this, what do you think for your cabling competitive sport alter competitive sport would you be happy to see your kids playing at a lower level? Having fun, and getting the exercise and a team work and the benefits, the real benefits and again, as negative as has been there are major, major benefits that come out of playing the sport. But is it worth it? What’s the trade-off? Because I know if I could go back I wouldn’t play. I went to play Tracy.
I wouldn’t wanna do hitting, I don’t know, I don’t even know if I’d play hockey in general, I might try to play something that I always liked. And maybe this is me not Banting player, maybe an individual sport tennis, golf, something like that.
What are these trade-offs, what are these priorities, what kind of life are we creating for these kids when we’re putting them to Mona sport? Not necessarily knowing the outcome of it. How are you being as a parent, are you being a supportive, positive person in helping them progress both as an athlete, but as a person or is this an ego trip for you to make… hopefully get your kid into a professional league, and cash out on your retirement, which is what a lot of people truly think. I played with kids whose parents talked about their kid, like I was their retirement check.
And when we’re living in a time like that with all of the stuff we got going on, it’s unnecessary. And as we move into a world where there’s a lot of things needed to be done, a lot of big priorities. If we all wanna live healthy, happy lives we have to ask ourselves, do we? We need more competitive asks. And with that, I’m done.
I hope you guys have a great weekend, and I look forward to chatting next week, I’m gonna look on it, I’m gonna look at a more positive topic, if I got it, but this one was important to me and I really wanted to get it out. So thank you, guys, have a great weekend..